2) I received an invitation to have a health check. I don’t think they were targeting me – it’s a service that’s offered to everyone in the county. Apparently they will “make a note of my age, weight, height, ethnicity and sex”. Hang on a minute. My date of birth, sex and ethnicity haven’t changed since I was born. So really it’s only my weight and height that need to be noted. They will also talk to me about my family health history, and my lifestyle (which, obviously, I will lie about).

3) The health check includes a blood test, so I went to have that yesterday morning. It was a fasting test, and not until 1045. That didn’t sound too bad when I booked it, but in reality, by 1015 I beginning to get extremely hungry. I made up for it with bacon and egg rolls, cornflakes, and a large biscuit when I got home. According to the check-in computer at the surgery, my blood was taken by Ms Community Phlebotomist, which is the best example of nominative determinism I have ever seen.

4) My cake baking attempts were successful. I made a madeira cake for CGF’s birthday, and a coconut cake just for fun. I also iced and decorated the birthday cake. OK, by “decorated” I mean “place some chocolate letters to spell ‘Happy Birthday’”. I can’t even write on paper – there was no way I was going to attempt to write on a cake. I did go to the trouble of using a protractor to measure equal angles (24 degrees, including spaces) for the letters but the letters were too large for the arcs. No, not on the cake, silly. I did the measurement on a piece of greaseproof paper and used that as a template. I know stuff, me.

5) We went out for a meal to celebrate the birthday. CGF didn’t know that I had secretly invited a couple of her friends too. Though the surprise was nearly broken by silly Mrs The Aged, who mentioned it on the voicemail to apologise for not being able to come owing to illness, and by silly Ruby, who turned the speakerphone on when playing back the voicemail. But I quickly changed the subject and CGF didn’t notice. Until we got to the restaurant and the waitress said “table booked for ten” when there was supposed to be only eight of us.

6) Saturday evening we went to what used to be called “The Mayflower Theatre” but is now called “Mayflower Theatre” to see Blood Brothers. It was really good and quite a moving storyline. I’d seen it before, but a long time ago – long enough ago to have forgotten all but the main gist of the story.

7) More theatrical excursions next week. By chance I drove past what used to be called “the Town Hall” but is now called “The Point” (did you see what I did there?) and saw a poster advertising “Guy and Dolls” – one of my favourite musicals. I bought tickets, so next Saturday is Date Night.

8) To add to my list of odious and annoying phone calls (e.g. PPI claims, alleged accidents), I now have my home contents insurers. Twice a week for the last four weeks some annoying halfwit has left a message “Hi, it’s Mark, just a courtesy call; please ring me back when you get a chance”. OK, I may claim to have not many friends, but I am not so bereft of social interaction that I have to resort to exchanging pleasantries with my insurer. You would think that after eight non-returned calls he would twig that the most courteous thing to do would be to stop bothering me.

9) Last word today is courtesy of a Eastleigh youth. While we were waiting to cross at a pedestrian crossing two teenage lads turned up; one dashed across the road, narrowly missing a car. “Road Sense, you f***ing idiot!” called out his companion, then, looking up at CGF and me, added “excuse my language but it really annoys me when he does that”. “Don’t worry,” I replied, “you did have a point”.