As part of the preparation, I loosened the light switches and plug sockets from the wall so we could paint behind them rather than over them, which looks better.

Three of the light switches had metal faces but no earth wire attached. This is generally a bad thing, because if a live wire touches the faceplate the power earths through you rather than the wiring which is a painful experience.

One of the switches did at least have a loose earth wire, so I could attach that. While doing this my fingers must have touched the terminal as I felt a tingling sensation through my hand.
“What does it feel like?” asked CS2 who was painting a nearby wall.

Ever eager to educate, and figuring that knowing what an electric shock feels like would be a useful skill for later life, I let him have a go. Don’t worry, I wasn’t that irresponsible – I made sure he used only one hand, so the shock wouldn’t pass through his body (tbh I don’t know whether it makes much difference, but it’s something The Aged was taught back in his National Service days. He passed the advice to me and now I have passed the advice to CS2).

The following day, in view of the lack of earth wiring on the other switches, I decided to replace them with plastic switches. The first two were no problem at all – wires out; wires in; job done. OK, I did get another shock when the loosened live wire touched the metal faceplate, but otherwise everything was OK.

The third switch proved to be a bit more problematic. Normally a light switch needs only two wires (one in, one out); a circuit with two switches (such as top and bottom of stairs) will have a third. But they go into different terminals, so it is fairly easy. This switch had six. To make it more difficult, one of the wires had come loose and I couldn’t see which terminal it came from.

Now, you’re probably thinking that the sensible thing to do here would be to leave all other wires in place and work out by trial and error where the sixth goes. You will also probably not be surprised to know that this is exactly what I didn’t do. I now had six wires to distribute around three terminals.

Two of the wires were live. I discovered this using the tried and not-very-trusted method of touching them at the same time and yelling “sacred excrement” as 240 volts coursed through my body. It would seem (by the fact that all the lights went out when these were both removed) that the ring main runs through the switches rather than the light fittings, which is a bit odd.

I found two combinations where all the lights on the circuit could be operated from the same switch – one in harmony with the hall light; one in opposition to it. I found combinations that would leave the light either permanently on or permanently off, irrespective of the position of the switch. And one combination that blew the circuit. This last was actually a good thing as I then knew which circuit breaker it was*.

Eventually I found a combination that kind of worked. Hall light switched on and off by the switch; all other lights work independently. Only problem was that I couldn’t get the two switches on the circuit to work together. You can turn the light on by either the downstairs or the upstairs switch, but have to turn it off by the same switch that you turned it on with. Well, it’s close …