"So what is a sweet?" asked CS3, in one of her inquisition moods.
"Well anything you get from a sweet shop"
"But you can get lots of things from a sweet shop that aren't sweets"
"OK, sweets are what I define as sweets"
"Is chocolate a sweet?"
"yes"
"What about biscuits?"
"No, they're biscuits".
"What about chocolate biscuits?"
"No, they're still biscuits." [btw I've recently learned that "chocolate topped" biscuits actually have the chocolate on the bottom.]
"or have chocolate chips inside them?"
"still biscuits. And anyway chocolate chips aren't sweets; they're baking ingredients"
"Are kitkats sweets?"
"of course"
"club biscuits?"
"depends what mood I'm in"
"After dinner mints?"
Not if I have them after after dinner, as then they are part of the meal"
And so on.

Then she turned her attention to the idea of giving-up stuff for Lent. I explained it was a throw-back to the tradition of Lenten Fasting, so she wanted to know all about that. "So originally, would people have not eaten at all, or only eaten at night like with Ramadan?".
"I don't know, try google."

So she did. It's not simple.

• It applies only to people between the ages of 18 and 60
• Fasting (every day of Lent) means you an have only one main meal per day. You can have two other meals, but the total amount of extra food can't add up to one main meal.
• Some days are abstinence days when you can't have any meat
• Other days are partial abstinence days you can have meat, but only with the main meal
• You can eat whatever and whenever you like on Sundays

But the real get-out-of-jail card is that all this applies only to Catholics. I'm not a Catholic so I can eat whatever and whenever I like.

As she read through these rules I remarkaed that it sounds as if it is just being made up as they go along. "yes, but that's Christianity all over" she replied (owtte).

The Future Mrs Barefoot's car suffered a catastrophic mechanical failure last weekend. Almost a fatal catastrophic mechanical failure. She told me it was making strange noises, and there was vibration on the clutch pedal, and asked me to drive it to see what I thought. "Now remember, Ruby," I was solemnly instructed by CS3, "you're only to see if there is anything wrong; you're not to break it". So that's what I did. Apart from a bit of burning clutch on a reversing manoeuvre "it's smoking, it's smoking."

It was as she'd said and I concluded that the clutch was probably on its way out but it should last a few more months. I was wrong by whatever a few months minus a few hours is.

The Future Mrs Barefoot took CS1 for a practice drive. She phoned me half an hour later to say the car had stopped working. I went out to have a look and sure enough, it had stopped working. The clutch pedal want down but wouldn't rise back up again, and the engine wouldn't start. Even my limited mechanical knowledge diagnosed that as not good. The AA were called, and while waiting I took CS1 home and came back with coffee and food.

The AA mechanic confirmed our "possibly fatal mechanical failure" diagnosis and towed the car to the garage. Who, amazingly, managed to resuscitate it by replacing the clutch; debatable value-for-money considering the value of the car, but we have now renamed it 'Lazarus'.

Of course, mechanical breakdowns never go alone, and Wednesday morning it was my turn to call the AA. I hit a pot hole on the way to work and blew the tyre. Oh, I suppose I could have changed the wheel myself, but it was chucking down with rain, and the side of the road was muddy so I decided to make use of my AA subscription - even if it did mean a two-hour wait. But turned out to be a good plan as the spare wasn't inflated completely and I didn't have a pump.

Once fixed I took the car to the type shop close to work, thinking I could leave it there for the rest of the morning. But when I got there they were quiet and waved me straight in. One new tyre and a rim hammered back into shape, then two more tyres as they pointed out that the rear ones were on the legal limit.

Finally got to work at 11.30 - £200 poorer!