1) "What does the middle A in your name stand for?" asked CS3 after she saw it on an envelope. I am of the view that not only is it acceptable to lie to children at every opportunity, it is also mandatory. So I immediately replied "Androcles". I said it with enough conviction for her to believe me; I could even spell it without thinking. I wonder what she will say when my name is read out at the wedding and she finds out that it isn't Androcles at all.

2) Driving into Andover last week, I noticed a sign pointing to a Temporary Swimming Pool. Struck me as an odd thing to have. Swimming pools require large and watertight holes in the ground; cumbersome heating and filtration plant; and huge quantities of water. That's a lot of infrastructure for a temporary installation. I don't know what's happened to the permanent swimming pool – I have a vague idea that Andover has one somewhere. I'm also told that Andover has a hospital, though I am yet to discover it.

3) I bought myself a reusable Costa coffee mug. According to CS3, who is my source of advice on all things environmental, I have to use it 17 times before it is more environmentally friendly than disposable cups. I’m not sure how many more times I will have to use it to compensate for the Tupperware-style lid I accidentally melted on the stove last week.

4) Wedding plans are going apace, and everything seems to be progressing to plan. We went to the flower shop to order bridal flowers. Wow! Aren't bridal flowers expensive. I suppose the arguments for the cost are: i) the bridal bouquet is a specific design with selected flowers whereas a general bouquet can be whatever is lying around the shop at the time; ii) a bridal bouquet is more time-critical than a general bouquet; iii) a bridal bouquet has "wedding" written on the tin; iv) it's what people are prepared to pay.

5) I was ringing at a wedding on Friday. I glanced at the order of service and remarked: "oh, we're having that hymn at our wedding; except we're having it with different words and a different tune". That doesn't make a whole lot of sense, except in my mind. There are two hymns that are traditionally sung to this tune; the wedding on Friday had one of the and we are having the other. To add variety, we are using a different time-signature for the tune (four-four rather than the three-four). I'm not sure whether a different time-signature constitutes a different tune or not.

6) I bought a couple of items from Robert Dyas (hardware store). At the checkout, they always ask whether I'd like to buy whatever is on special offer that day. I don't think they've quite got the hang of up-selling. "Would you like some batteries or detergent?" I was asked. Look at my basket. I've bought clothes pegs and drain unblocker. What you should be asking is "would you like a peg basket or a plunger?"

7) We went to a music festival on Saturday. A festival of tribute acts. It was really good, and some great performances – 22 acts, including Phil Collins, Shania Twain; Ed Sheeran; Abba; Take That; Queen; Karen Carpenter; Bee Gees. It was held at a local music club and was a very civilised festival: table and chairs to sit at in the garden; hand soap and tissues in the toilets (and real toilets not portaloos); orderly queue at the bar; Pimms. It was local enough for us to walk down – we were out from 1100 to 0030. It was a great day out but we were shattered after just the one day – can't see how people can manage a three-day festival! Luckily we didn't have to go to work the next day, or the day after that (bank holiday).

8) Bank Holiday we spent having a clearing and tidying session. I'd bought a storage unit (small shed) for the garden so we spent the morning putting that together. The instructions said "25 minutes" – yeah, right. Maybe if you'd done a few of them before so knew what you were doing. It was more like 2 hrs and 25 minutes. The instructions suggested that pilot holes should be drilled for screws in a couple of places. Well, I couldn't be bothered to walk the 30 feet to my car to fetch the drill. After the screwdriver slipped and injured my fingers for the third time I decided that maybe a drill would be a good idea after all.