2) The rest of the weekend was spent in packing, clearing rubbish, dismantling beds and other pre-moving tasks. We also watched Jack Rosenthal's "The Chain" to give an idea of what sort of things can go wrong during a house move. "Moving house is very upsetting; it's a big upsetment; people get upset". I would have put a clip here but couldn't find one.

3) One of the kitchen cupboards (in the new house) was missing a shelf so I carefully measured up and we went to B&Q to get a piece of wood cut to size. I was very careful and measured in continental measurements, as I knew that is what the wood would be sold in. It was 54 cm, and I added 2 for the width of the tape measure. But this was a metric measure and wasn't 2 cm wide; it was 5 cm. The shelf didn't fit. Sometimes I am stupid and an idiot, all at the same time.

4) Monday evening I went down to help with man-jobs in the new house. I plumbed in the washing machine and worked out why the TV aerial fly-lead didn't plug in (because it had the wrong sort of plug). "I should have brought my other tool box; I'm sure I've got a connector in that". "Why do you have a TV fly lead when you don't have a TV?"

5) Small problem with the washing machine the following day. It didn't drain. Luckily, my vast experience of washing machine repairs over the last couple of years meant that I was able to accurately diagnose the problem over the phone. Sometimes I am wonderful and a hero, all at the same time. Blocked outlet, btw, in case you were wondering.

6) It took us until 10 pm, but everyone had a bed to sleep in on Monday night - if not necessarily the bed that they were expecting. The bunk beds destined for CGF Sprog3's room didn't fit (we tried every possible way but in the end had to concede that Pythagoras was right), so had to dismantle the previously-assembled bed-frame in CGF Sprog2's room to swap them over. The whole operation involved lots of moving furniture and boxes about, and moving one thing to make way for something else and then moving it back again to make way for something coming the other side. "What's the plan?" I was asked at one point. "Hey, you don't think we've got a plan, do you? We're just trying out lots of options until we find one that works".

7) At one point we blocked the girls in a bedroom and warned them not to come out for a few minutes. It wasn't until we were coming up upstairs after a drink break that we were met with: "you didn't tell us you'd moved the furniture out of the way and we could come out!"

8) Sometimes when I use Skype my webcam appears to show that I am sitting in a room with a flashing light. I worked out what may cause it. It's the low-wattage bulbs in the light fitting. You see, they don't push a lower current through the bulb; they push the same current in short bursts. Effectively the light switches on and off, but so quickly, our eyes can't see it. However, the frequency of the light is out-of-phase with (or maybe even a different frequency to) the webcam, producing a flashing effect. Sometime I can be clever and geeky, all at the same time.

9) I see that Lloyds TSB bank is going to split into two separate banks - named, wait for it, Lloyds Bank and TSB. Those of us of a certain age will remember that's what it used to be. Plus ca change, plus ca meme chose.

10) I did a driving theory exam last night - part of the new SJA driving standards. Some of the questions were difficult. But I passed. 82%! Go me! I did have to resort to my limited knowledge of physics for "where does the weight of the car shift when cornering to the right?" Well, inertia will make the weight want to go straight on which, relative to turning right, is to the left. And I got all three of the stopping distance questions wrong - but that that been one of my black holes for ever (apparently it is the speed squared divided by 20. Or that may just be the stopping distance. Go work it out for yourselves, I can't be bothered. I passed, I don't need to).

11) Another black hole wrt The Highway Code is which-is-which of the "double bends" and "series of bends" signs, but I think I've got that sussed now. Double bends is straight and series of bends is at an angle - think "the road goes 'straight' after the bends".

12) I've just looked at the Highway Code, and "series of bends" is no longer in it. Maybe it isn't used any more. Bastards. It's taken me 30 years to learn it, and now they've taken it out.

13) And here's another measurement inconsistency. In the Highway Code, the speed for stopping distance is given in mph, but the stopping distance is given in metres (with imperial conversion). But I suppose that, similar to Stepfie's recent remark on how grownups use Celsius for cold temperatures and Fahrenheit for warm ones, we can cope with metres for short distances, but for anything longer we need miles. I should also point out that although young people converse mostly in metric, they can also convert to imperial in order to make themselves understandable to grownups.

14) Dinner this evening was curry - quite a lot of curry, in fact. Washed down with a bottle of Banks' Beer - which was considerably better than the last Banks' beer I had. Many, many years ago I was on a walking weekend in the peak district and one of our party - who came from theyparts - insisted we trawl the local town until we found a pub that sold Banks. It was undoubtedly the word pint of beer I have ever had in my life. Even worse than the Benskins I drank at school (sixth-form I mean) and that was pretty poor - in fact it is what made me start drinking Guinness.