We'd booked a table at a restaurant in the centre of Southampton, and made a recce trip to work out the best carpark to park in. We needed six cars to get us all there so I suggested we all start from the same place and printed out easy-to-follow directions for each car. We also spread the children between the cars; they may not know how to get to the city centre but would know their way around once they got there. What could possibly go wrong?

Where shall I start?

1. I figured leaving at 1130 would give us plenty of time to get there. I hadn’t factored in the time it would take for all the goodbyes to extended family, so it was nearer 1145 before we got going.
2. Mrs Bareroot’s brother-in-law turned on to the motorway instead of the meeting place. When he got to the car park he found his hired van was too tall for the car park.
3. The aged started well by following Mrs Ruby, but then missed the motorway exit so went off towards Bournemouth. Child Two was in the car with him, but as they ended up coming into Southampton from a direction he had never been before he was totally lost. The Aged has quite a short temper when it comes to navigators. Later in the afternoon, Big Sis gave Child Two a hug and aid “hope dad didn’t give you a hard time”. “No, he was all right”, replied Child Two. “I bet he wasn’t – I know what he’s like,” she responded.
4. Mrs Bareroot’s brother used satnav. After half an hour driving through housing estates and along narrow roads he realised that his satnav was set to bicycle mode.
5. Something had gone wrong with the traffic flow in the city centre, and it was completely gridlocked. After taking 30 minutes to travel a quarter mile I got mum to phone Mrs Barefoot (whose car I could see about ten cars ahead) to say “forget plans; we’ll park in the nearest car park and walk down”. My sisters were a couple of cars behind me, so I made a really clear hand signal and moved into the right turn lane – and was pleased to see they followed. There was a traffic light junction; my lights were red but nothing was moving in any direction. In the end I said “I don’t know whether that light applies to me or not. Stuff it, I’m going”. Sisters in the car behind said “I don’t believe it – Ruby’s just jumped a red light” but had to follow as they didn’t know where they were going!

It was a bit further to the restaurant than I’d thought and it was wet and windy too. Eventually we got there – 45 minutes late, but they’d held the table for us. Over the next 15 – 30 minutes the rest of the travellers arrived.

Once we’d got over the travel problems, we had a really good time. We’d chosen a buffet restaurant so people could move around and talk to each other and sit at different places watch time they came back to the table. It worked really well and everyone got on brilliantly.

Epilogue 1
After the meal, Big Sis went straight to the airport for her flight home, and Little Sis went back home with The Aged. Later in the evening, Big Sis messaged me from the airport: “you need to get in touch with Little Sis. Apparently, The Aged’s fallen in the Thames”

What on earth? He was going home; he shouldn’t have been anywhere near the Thames.

Turned out that on the way home, they’d stopped by the river at Oxford. He was walking along the tow path and either slipped or tripped and ended up in the water (Child One: “what was he doing that close to the edge? He’s doddery enough on his feet as it is”). Luckily the river isn’t very deep there, so apart from a soaking, he got away with a banged head and a cut hand. Even more luckily, Mrs The Aged was out of sight so didn’t see the incident – though it gave Little Sis a bit of a fright.

Anyway, he was patched up and Little Sis persuaded him to let Little BiL drive home (she told him there was an insurance clause that allows anyone to drive your car in a medical emergency). To be honest, I’d have been happier if he’d gone to hospital, but I phoned him in the evening and gave him strict instructions to give the wound a good clean and to visit the doctor in the morning (where he was given a full check over and a course of antibiotics).

Epilogue 2